Thursday, June 25, 2009

"High As A Kite And Going Around In Circles"

Here at Bourbon, Bastards and Birds, things are moving at a good clip. The wires are truly humming here, and our newsroom can barely keep up with the atrocities that are coming in at a horrific pace. Let's take a quick look at whats happening Out There;

Farrah Fawcett: Dead.

Michael Jackson: Dead.

Mark Sanford, GOP Governor of South Carolina, returned from a week of being completely missing to announce that he had been busy in Argentina, cheating on his wife. Typical.

The rigged election results in Iran continues to draw huge protests in the country, often with bloodshed.

Samantha Redding won her supreme court case, in which she was illegally strip searched by school officials searching for two prescription strength Ibuprofin pills when she was 13.

And finally.......

"SYDNEY (Reuters) – The mystery of crop circles in poppy fields in Australia's southern island state of Tasmania has been solved -- stoned wallabies are eating the poppy heads and hopping around in circles.

"We have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles," the state's top lawmaker Lara Giddings told local media on Thursday.

"Then they crash. We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high," she said.

Many people believe crop circles that mysteriously appear in fields around the world are created by aliens.

Poppy producer Tasmanian Alkaloids said livestock which ate the poppies were known to "act weird" -- including deer and sheep in the state's highlands.

"There have been many stories about sheep that have eaten some of the poppies after harvesting and they all walk around in circles," said field operations manager Rick Rockliff.

Australia produces about 50 percent of the world's raw material for morphine and related opiates."

As for Michael Jackson......let's be honest here, the dude molested children. The media is going to be full of tear-jerking memorials for this freakish bastard for the next week, and I doubt this very painful fact is going to be mentioned much. Yeah he made some great music......but no one should ever mourn the death of serial child molester.

I have chosen a vague route for my Pennsylvania sojourn, outlined below. It is rumored to be an epic trip of Don Quixote proportions.......more to follow......

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