Friday, May 31, 2013

Breaking News: Seagull Steve Describes New Species, Bobfox Poised For Island Takeover



In case you have ever wondered what it's like being GBRS ranked 7th best birder in the nation, words like "glory" and "prestige" come to mind quickly. But this gifted birder never thought he would be behind the greatest mammalian discovery of the millenium.



Island Foxes are known for their debilitating cuteness. They are so cute their prey cannot defend themselves when being hunted. They quickly fall under the foxes' spell, which is helped by a big fluffy tail that is part of their appeal.

But what is cuter than an Island Fox? For the very first time, I am proud to present to you Urocyon robertii, which shall forever be known as...Bobfox.



Look at that stubby tail! Look how fucking cute this thing is! Can an adult mammal be any more adorable? No. No it can't.



You should have seen the Bobfox jumping and prancing around. It looked like a goddamn cottontail rabbit. Just brutally cute.


Research has already shown that when on the hunt, animals will literally jump into the Bobfox's mouth. They want to be one with the cuteness. With this kind of hunting strategy, Bobfox will likely become the most successful predator in existence. In fact, humanity might fall victim to the Bobfox before anything else.




Remember...to want to pet this animal is a deathwish. Avoid going to Santa Cruz Island at all cost, or you will become yet another snack for the Bobfox.

3 comments:

  1. Make it stop! The cuteness is overwhelming!!!

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  2. Well I got my cuteness fix for the day right here on BB&B!

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  3. That sure is an adorable fox!

    ReplyDelete