Monday, October 13, 2014

Birders As Art XI: Sometimes Good Guys Don't Wear White

As everyone knows, there is nothing quite like the fashion sense of birders. We are stylish. We are chic. We are the Fashion Police. No other subculture looks quite as good as we do, which helps explain the rampant sexual promiscuity of birders and why so many of us are absolutely riddled with STDs.

Pelagic trips are widely-considered to be the fashion shows of birding; red carpet events that are usually well-attended, often by multiple A-list celebrity birders, such as Yours Truly. You often see some real edgy stuff on these trips...and it's not the birds that I am talking about. I was impressed the other day by a dude rocking two different pairs of binoculars...and then this vexing photo just kind of fell into my lap. Now the birderscape will never be the same.

I wasn't on this trip so I can't fill in too many details about what exactly is going on here, but I think the photo speaks for itself. I have no idea who this person is, and while I think it is quite likely we are dealing with a male, I'm not entirely sure. It is quite possible that no one on the boat ever found out who he was, with his facial features and identity known to no one. This may have been how he got on the boat, and how he got off. There is one thing that I am sure of here...his kind has never been seen before, and may never be seen again.

Why? That is the question we are forced to ask ourselves. Why the disguise? Why is he all in white? Why is this so obviously cringe-worthy, but leaves us wanting more? And why does he have a spotting scope? No one uses spotting scopes on pelagic trips; they are practically useless. Had this person never been on a pelagic before and come overprepared? Was he trying not to catch Ebola? And how many different white garments are actually involved here? It is impossible to say.

Honestly, if this person suffers from Polymorphous Light Eruption or some other solar-powered syndrome, this would all make sense, but knowing the tendency of birders to dress to the next level, I find this affliction highly unlikely. Pretty sure it's just High Fashion...actually, make that High Art. Thanks to "Rick James" for the photo, and for helping us to continue to press the fact that birders are treasures; indeed, living works of Art.

7 comments:

  1. Is it (I've decided to go with it as I cannot tell if we have a man or a woman here) holding the spotting scope with a white gloved hand?!?!?!?!!??

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  2. I'm tempted to believe this is Nelson. The all white is representative of his "good sheriff" reputation, and the scope is present to help him sort out all of those deep sea accipiters.

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    1. you show me albatross and i will show you goshawks

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    2. Some sort of Mobius Dick perhaps?

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  3. I was on that trip and saw the white ninja. I'm pretty sure there was a mustache under the mask, oddly enough. As far as I can tell, despite the seas being nearly glass calm, they never successfully managed to get a bird in their scope, and I never did see them after the boat pulled into the harbor.

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    1. My God...he is like some kind of birding superhero. He probably changed back into his Clark Kent getup when you got back to the harbor.

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