Monday, April 11, 2011

Hybrids Open Up The Door

As far as I can tell, Chavarrillo is known for two things. The spring raptor migration and overall good birding is one. The other…..aliens. Oh yeah. I’m living in the Roswell of Veracruz. As far as I know….I’ve already been abducted.

Legend has it that not long before gringos came here to peer at birds, Peregrine Falcons were not the fastest thing to occupy Chavarrillo’s airspace. No…they were OVNIs. OVNI, short for Objecto Volante No Identificado, is the Mexican equivalent of UFO…many people here believe in them, and don’t consider their existence a matter of conjecture, for they have seen them with their own eyes.

It is said that one day, during a particularly impressive bout of OVNI activity, a large white man came to town. He spoke perfect Spanish, although he claimed to be American. He wore a black suit, black hat, sunglasses….the entire Man In Black getup. His size and ghostly skin tone unnerved the residents of the town, and no one seemed to know why he was here at all.

The mayor of Chavarrillo at the time was very ill. He had The Cancer in his leg. One day, he and the stranger were at Jorge’s Bar, talking over some drinks. “Here”, the Man In Black said. “This will help you…it is The Cure.” He offered the mayor a shotglass full of a mysterious liquid. The mayor hesitantly accepted it, and when he peered into it he could see the entire universe contained within the depths of that shot glass. Obviously, you can’t turn down a drink like that.

The mayor took the drink down (smoothly, I can only assume). The Man In Black continued on….at this point, he made no pretenses about who he was or why he was there. It was understood that he was not a man of any sort, but was an extraterrestrial in disguise. On a bar napkin, The Man In Black even went on to draw the designs of different primary OVNI craft that are commonly used. He may or may not have been borracho (hammered) at this point.

At last call, the Man In Black told the mayor that, if he needed anything else, all he needed to do to summon the extraterrestrials was to climb the tallest hill above Chavarrillo and shine a mirror into the sky. I assume the OVNI summoning process had a little more to it than that, but those were the basics.

Sure enough, the mayor’s cancer went into remission. Strange lights and strange craft flew through Chavarrillo nights for many years to come. In fact, they have only stopped appearing 3 years ago, for reasons no one understands….but there is a general feeling around here that they will be back. The prevailing theory is that they have been coming to somehow extract an energy source in the hills above town that humans do not use. I hypothesize that it is coffee….everyone grows it here but no one drinks it….its the damndest thing. When they are running low on caffeine, or whatever it may be, they will be back….

There are other stories of course. A woman from the town was abducted for 9 days. When she returned (sans memory of recent events), she had a small chip implanted in her head. She was able to summon the OVNIs with this chip….unfortunately, her current whereabouts are unknown, otherwise I would be busy persuading her to summon some benevolent OVNI folk. It should also be noted that a friend of the raptor project’s has an actual picture of an alien taken right in the middle of town. Hopefully seeing it won’t result in my abduction as well.

Of course, I can’t pass up the chance to mention that there has been a chupacabra sighting here as well.

So there you have it kids. Call me Fox Mulder. Beware The Smoking Man. Trust No One…


  1. Haha! Great post, Steve. So, um, what have you been drinking?

  2. Wow. This is a pretty obscure post. You will SO have to mention this one at your next state-side cocktail party. Hey-soos. I'd rather call you Mox Fulder. Lovin' the hails from down under.

  3. Whatta story! I followed you here from Kt's compilation of blogs:

    where she grouped your post, one of mine, and several others under the category "trust/faith and other seemingly random topics."

    Glad she led me here.

    --Patricia K Lichen,