Friday, July 20, 2012

An Update From The Great Ornithologist Felonious Jive

Florida is hands-down the best state for big wading birds. This Tricolored Heron was photographed during Seagull's only previous Florida (mis)adventure in 2009, at Merritt Island National Wildlife Refuge, FL.

In a rare appearance, birding great Felonious Jive has graced BB&B with his presence. If you are unfamiliar with his work, you can learn more about Felonious here and here. - Seagull Steve

Greetings, nerdy humans. Despite appearances, BB&B is not all Seagull Steve all the time. I am indeed the man behind the gull. The world's leading birder. The ornithologist indelible. Two time winner of the Australian Malt Whisky Tasting Championship. But being a leading tastemaker of birding subculture does not quite come with many accolades though...most birders ignore my advice and continue to be terrible at bird identification, dress heinously and have social skills that would make even a Solitary Sandpiper cringe. So not much improvement on that front, although the recent and welcomed influx of youth into the scene seems to be having a mildly positive effect.

I have been busy of late. I have been helping Seagull plan his Costa Rican birding trip this winter, which is going well, except for the obvious fact that Seagull doesn't know shit about identifying Costa Rican birds. I predict he will see approximately 21 species of life birds on this trip without ever knowing what they are. He's a work in progress.

We will also, as you know, be trying to pull off another infamous not-really-birding-but-secretly-it-really-is-a-birding trip to the Florida Keys, where Seagull is expected to clean house with yearbirds. There will be blood ("I...drink...your...milkshake!") in the water, and the blood belongs to Bostick. Seagull can smell it, and the prophesied leadership change of the Y2K12 Big Year is bound to happen.

I continue to press for full disclosure of the Global Birding Ranking Scale, but for months now my efforts have been fruitless. I apologize to the entire birding community for my apparent impotence on this front. But take it to all have a right to know.

One of the hundreds of thousands of Laysan Albatross that nest, rest, flirt and cut their dancing chops at Midway Atoll every year. Almost all of them look pretty much like this....almost.

Most recently, I wrote a short post on a certain Laysan Albatross that took a piece of my heart, like I digested it into a highly-concentrated, putrid oil and shot it at high pressure straight into the bird's gullet. You can find that at 10,000 Birds, where I write at least once a month.

That's it for now the miracle of the sun rising yet again, we have come to another weekend. Rage.


  1. That Laysan Albatross is the most handsome!!

    1. Laysans know a thing or two about using eye shadow.

  2. When you were hanging around with albatrosses everywhere, did you ever pet them? They look so pet-able.

    1. Oh yeah, we pet a creepy way though. The only way you could really do it was if they were asleep, they really like getting their necks scratched. But when they wake up and realize you are not another albatross they give you this horrified, disgusted look.

      No one really tries to pet the Black-footeds though, they are not as mild-mannered.