The Only True Messiah

Saw this in Everglades National Park....took me back to my mollusking days in Trinity County. All hail the mollusk.

Hello (m)asses. How are the th(r)ongs today? Positive, I hope. Because there is so much catatonically depressing, soul-crushing shit that goes down every day, that it can be hard to stay afloat sometimes. Most people cope, either knowingly or not, by keeping themselves in the dark as much as possible....all the way from their own problems to global events. And who can blame them? Well....I can....but only to a certain extent. When such ridiculous entities like Glen Beck and The Tea Party and Sara Palin and The Church of Scientology are presented as being legit.....a lot of us don't even have a chance. When the people are groomed to think and behave like sheep, there will be no one left to defend us from the wolves*.



Lesser Black-backed Gulls on the beach at Virginia's Back Bay National Wildlife Refuge. I saw more of these on that beach than I'd seen in my entire life.

Well that's a little heavy for so early on a Wednesday morning. I'm in Ventura, listening to the scrub-jays holler to eachother in the backyard. My fall tour isnt over yet, but I think its safe to say that Ive done most of the birding I'm going to do. I snagged 11 or 12 new birds, which brings my total of lifers up to 25 or so since July. Combined with all the new birds I saw on Midway Atoll earlier this year, I've seen more new birds this year since.....uh.....well, I don't even know. I'm pretty stoked about it though. The only last American "frontiers" that have a lot of new birds for me are in Alaska and the East Coast's offshore areas. But who cares? Bird-frenzies are best kept to one's self.



Anhingas are one of the characteristic birds of Florida. They don't have waterproof feathers so they are always hanging out and sunning themselves in between fishing trips underwater. Rad birds.

And then, it's probably best to go south. See what Mexico has to offer. Ride fast, live slow. Learn the way of the ground-cuckoo, which spends its life rolling around in the dirt and skulking around in the brush. It's a humble existence, punctuated with eating various lizards and insects. But that's what they are cut out for....they wouldnt want it any other way. What am I best adapted to?

Wow, this isn't really going anywhere today. I have a job interview in a few hours, which I'm not looking forward to. It's interfering with my unemployment.



Common Moorhen. There are scads of them in Florida. Not as sexy as Purple Gallinules, but they get pretty close sometimes.

* = Killing wolves in order to protect private property (livestock) is completely heinous and will be (and has been) a primary factor in the de-listing of any populations. Ranchers do love to shoot them, but I suppose they would prefer to do it legally......

Begging For Tips Is Begging Just The Same

One of the friendly faces in Florida's Big Cypress Swamp.

EL PASO, Texas. My fall tour is coming down to the home stretch.....I'm perched at the western edge of Texas, bound for Flagstaff, Arizona tomorrow night. It will be a long and perilous drive, fraught with stress because I won't be able to pick what music to listen to, with the glut of great new music that has come out lately (see the list over on the right there). At the moment, Strike Anywhere is really leaving an impression....its a breath of fresh air, after being in the south for so long. I also managed to catch Dead To Me and Banner Pilot in San Antonio last night, which is the first show I've been able to see since NOFX back in February. The new Dead To Me jams sounded pretty sweet.



A late-afternoon thunderstorm rolls in over the mangroves at Sannibel Island, Florida. You can see why people have an interest in dying here.

To my colleagues in Tallahassee, College Station and the legendary Schertz, I am deeply indebted to you, and I will repay my debt in blood.....or beer. Thanks again for having me over. The great ornithologist Felonious Jive sends love as well.

Bird Of The Day: Red-tailed Hawk. Yeah I didn't get out of the car much today. Tomorrow should be better though......




What is this. A kettle? Is this a kettle of storks? Or a flock? Whats the minimum number of birds that can constitute a kettle? Well, here's some Wood Storks in flight over the Everglades, at any rate.

Broadcasting Our Grief, Our Imaginations Atrophied

Yeah that's right. I was a flounder for Halloween. A flounder in College Station, Texas, home of Texas A&M. It was pretty well-received until I tore it off in a frenzy. We flounders are wide, which makes it difficult swimming through hundreds of scantily dressed girls who look like they are on their way to a porn shoot.

My fall tour has been a huge success, and I'm stoked I've been able to see some good people across the south. I'm cutting down on the birding aspect and have been concentrating on working more with bastards and birds, although I did manage to fit in some birding yesterday west of Aggieland, adding Orange-crowned Warbler, Neotropic Cormorant and Franklin's Gulls to my trip list. I found out my colleague Lee Vining here in College Station has actually conducted research similar to what we do here at BB&B, except her work is real and I specialize in wild accusations, rambling screeds, general tangents, conjecture, and other forms of Fear and Loathing. Yes, she is the first person I've met who have researched birdwatchers themselves outside of their spending habits. Expect a scandalous interview in the near future.

Tomorrow its off to Austin and recounting glory days on Midway Atoll. Word.



Rolling down the Wakulla River, south of Tallahassee, Fl. This is a good spot to see mermaids, although some find that they are not as good-looking as one might expect.



A Yellow-crowned Night-Heron lurks in the mangroves at Ding Darling NWR, Fl.

Wasting My Time With Apologies

Check this out. It's a Fish and Wildlife Service sanctioned Expression Session. It has the vibe of a result of a lawsuit, but pretty funny any way you look at it. This was at Loxahatchee National Wildlife Refuge.

Well, I finally made it out of Florida. BB&B is marking its stinky and pungent territory here in Baton Rouge, Lousiana. I got to resocialize myself somewhat in Tallahassee, and am now moving quickly west across the country. I plan on spending some time in Texas though, as I always seem to be drawn to that place, for reasons I cannot always explain. Some have suggested that there is something strange going on in that place, with all the oil in the ground. It's like some sort of terrestrial Bermuda Triangle. But there are good people there, and that's the draw this time. I might break down and end up birding though, you never know.



A Little Blue Heron at Loxahatchee.

Being on the road a lot the past couple weeks, I've had a lot of time do some quality ruminating. Not in the physical, vomitty sense, but the mental kind. But I generally find that I'm not very good at it. Sometimes I think I have ADD. I get distracted easily, and my mind is usually wandering widely. It's like an albatross. Which is funny to me. Despite how smart or stupid you think goonies might be, you know that they are probably thinking about some strange stuff as they are cruising around in the ocean. They've got a lot of time for that. A lot of the ocean is like a desert, you know.....there's a lot of life out there, but its often concentrated in little pockets. There's a lot of down time if youre an albatross, especially considering how easy it is them to fly incredible distances. I think they have some sort of built-in autopilot.....its known that some birds can have some kind of sleep while on the wing, and I doubt albatross are an exception.....

Why I'm going into some screed about albatross daydreams, I have no idea. Midway must be calling me again. Have a great Halloween everybody.



One of the Florida Scrub-Jays that put in an appearance at Merrit Island National Wildlife Refuge. These are endemic to Florida.

Fishy

Hello.

I am an Osprey. My name is Oswald. Oswald the Osprey. 99.9% of you humans wouldnt know by looking at my cloaca (aka my Osprey junk), but I am a male. A fucking awesome, super male Osprey. Yeah.

You know what else is awesome? Fish. Fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, amphibians, fish. I think about fish a lot. I would like to think that they think about me. How could they not? Millions of years of evolutionary forces have crafted me into this sleek, powerful, fish-killing machine. I am a strict pescatarian. If I could, I would eat nothing but fish. Fish, fish, fish.....fish. Sometimes I'll take a frog though. It's just too easy.



Yeah. You see these talons? Pretty badass, huh? You don't want to fuck with these babies....and youre not even a fish! I have fucking barbs on my feet to help me hold the fish that I catch. That's how good I am. I am fully kitted out to kill fish. Fish. Imagine having barbs on your feet. It would be like having skin-cleats. I totally rock skin-cleats.

My toes are fucking reversible.

Mmmmm......fish.

I have binocular vision, you know. I can a read a fucking newspaper from a mile away. Hi-def, true color, all that. Not joking, sorry. I can dive 100 feet out of the sky to kill something in the water, and can do 80 mph when I want. You people try doing 80. Really. Do it. Because you will die. I do not die. I........I fish. It's all about the skin cleats.



So when you think about it.....I am better than you. Yeah. Look at what you people do. War. Walmart. Warts. World of Warcraft. Childhood obesity. That's really impressive. Do you know what the recorded migration record for an Osprey is? 7800 fucking miles. What is your migration record? Limping across the street from an Arby's to a Burger King? Come to think of it.......there are a lot of things better than you out there. Fish come to mind.

Yeah.....so what's up with fish? Seen any lately?

Fish! Even though us Ospreys are way, way better than you people, we get along pretty well. If you're reading this, you've probably seen one of us at some point in your lives. Being Ospreys, we're pretty successful. We're probably holding down your local lake as you read this. We are found on every continent except Antactica, and can generally be found wherever there is a lot of fish. Er, water. No...fish. Yeah. You tried killing us with DDT a while ago and it almost worked, thanks a lot for that. Really appreciate it. That's science for you. You almost wiped out Bald Eagles too, which would have been awesome!

You see, we hate Bald Eagles. They are fat, disgusting, lazy, arrogant bastards. They steal our fish! Our hard-earned, hard-loved fish! Fish! The worst part is that they are perfectly capable of catching their own fish, but since we get all the good ones they chase us around, beat us up, and generally have their way with us. We can gang up on them sometimes but if its one on one its usually the eagle that wins. Assholes. We would have been a much better national icon, I think.

But who cares about them? We are strong. They were endangered. How embarrassing is that? I can see underwater. My nostrils are collapsible. Them eagles don't have shit on me.

Mmm....fish.

The People Are Brighter In California

Some White Ibis on their way to a night roost (now, more than ever) on Merrit Island.

Nerds! It's been too long! I just came out from three days of Everglades madness (Evermadness? Madglades?), and am in poor shape, on all fronts.

As far as the title of this post is concerned.....the manager here at this motel in Naples told me about California today. She had the look of someone trying too hard to look young, but was from Europe and sounded distinctly like Borat. "Why do you come to Florida?", she asked. "These people...[sighs disgustedly]..you cannot even talk to the people here. The people are brighter in California. I do not like that governor, but the people.....they seem ok".

Which, among my friends, holds true. They may not be good people in the traditional sense, but I think they posses some intrinsic value. As far as Floridians are concerned, I'm not quite sure yet. Half the people I met in the Madglades were from other continents.

And there was supposed to be more, but crucial phone calls and a Waffle House got in the way. Til next time, kids.....



Now, more than ever, Palm Warblers are psychedelic.



Brown Pelican formations have always impressed me. Now, more than ever.



A young (now, more than ever) Tricolored Heron.



A Royal Tern, aka Death From Above, at Fort Clinch State Park (now more than ever).



More White Ibis hold it down (now, more than ever) at Merrit Island National Wildlife Refuge.

p.s. "Now, more than ever" is the absolute worst catchphrase used in media these days.....I just wanted to demonstrate that fact here.

I Just Want To Sniff Some Glue

All the crabs are going to have move if that thing is going to fit down there. Hey-oh!

Wow. I made it. I'm sitting in Titusville, Florida, drinking a beer with my shirt off, contemplating the fact that I'm only a few miles away from a number of species I haven't seen before. I'm trying to contemplate my next move, because there is an infinite number of places I could lurk off to. Tomorrow I'm going to shoot for Limpkin, Purple Gallinule, Sedge Wren, Florida Scrub-Jay and more.....I'm breaking a sweat just thinking about it. Those are some punishing species, you know what I'm saying? Of course you do. Hopefully it will wipe out the sting I still feel from missing Purple Sandpipers at two very good spots for them.....I guess I'm just a week too early.



This Semipalmated Plover and Least Sandpiper were trying to make the best out of a parking lot during a very high tide at Pea Island National Wildlife Refuge, in North Carolina.



Boat-tailed Grackle, caught in between rattles, gronks and clicks. Tybee Island, Georgia.



I was walking down a beach and saw a wing poking out of the sand. After working my dead bat job, I'm really good at looking down. Anyways, I pulled this Tree Swallow out. It looks like it was caught offshore during one of last weeks storms and didn't make it. Tybee Island, Georgia.

I Try To Give More Than I Take

I don't know what's up with you eastern people. Why can't you keep your campgrounds open all year? If people want to freeze to death in their tents, who are you to stop them? Now because of this annoying tendency, I'm in another motel, this time adjacent to North Carolina's Outer Banks. I passed Kitty Hawk on my way here, which is where the Wright Brothers achieved flight. I saw the hill they launched off of. Pretty cool, eh? Now imagine, if you will, what a Kitty Hawk looks like. It's the stuff nightmares are made of.



To compensate for buying another stupid motel room I am eating a can of beans for dinner. It's one of the jumbo cans, with 6 servings. I'm going to try to eat all of it. Beans are one of the great underrated foods.....in White America's culture anyways. John Steinbeck knew this.....he goes into the wonders of beans in great detail in Tortilla Flats. I must admit that knowing I have some Yuengling (Pennsylvania's local beer) to wash it down with does help make every beany bite that much tastier......and the damn Death Bottle in the fridge is capable of making me forget I even ate beans for dinner. Hell, the Death Bottle is capable of making me forget what a bean is. I need to finish that thing....it's like an albatross around my neck, and it weighs down my soul as long as I have to take it with me.



Right. Birds. This morning I was at Back Bay National Wildlife Refuge in Virginia, and after walking a number of miles I concluded that it was super lame that they charge you to get in when you can't even take the trail that has all the birds. Oh well. Highlights were some Wilson's Snipe, an American Golden-Plover, huge flocks of Tree Swallows (several thousand strong), Broad-winged Hawk, Blackpoll Warbler, some distant Northern Gannets, and a small flock of Lesser Black-backed Gulls on the beach. I didn't even know you could see a flock of LBBGs anywhere on this continent....but that's west coast ignorance for you.



Yesterday was Chincoteague National Wildlife Refuge, which was substantially better. Tricolored Herons, Little Blue Herons, White Ibis, gannets, Brown-headed Nuthatches, Pine Warblers, Northern Parulas, Black-throated Green Warblers, Blackpoll Warbler, Marbled Godwits (they're rare here), huge flocks of scoters offshore, Peregrine Falcon, Merlin, bla bla bla bla bla. The weather is still sucking in a big way, but I can't do much about that except be glad that I'm inside for the night.



In other news, Facebook keeps telling me to befriend all these birdwatchers I may or may not know, which is really embarrassing to say the least. We are a well-connected folk (well, those with rudimentary social skills anyway), but if all your friends are birders, something is seriously wrong.



All these pictures of the Pectoral Sandpiper and the fall color were from Donegal Lake in Pennsylvania, and the Merlin was at Chincoteague in North Carolina yesterday. The light sucked but the bird was really friendly, so I had to throw it in. It dove right at my head at one point, only to change direction to swoop at a dragonfly at the last second. I may or may not have wet myself.

Get Your Feet Back In The Dirt

So I'm on the move. BB&B is seeing its glorious, explosive launch into the blogosphere tonight from Princess Anne, Maryland, on the Delmarva Peninsula on the east side of Chesapeake Bay. It's been raining all day but the birding was still pretty awesome. Helllloooooooo, Brown-headed Nuthatches! Also saw a couple Red-headed Woodpeckers, a vagrant (?) American White Pelican, and oodles of Swamp Sparows. All of today's pictures are from Blackwater National Wildlife Refuge.



My first Dunlin of the fall. Seems they didn't mind the rain.





Great Egrets never get old......because they live forever? Sure.





This area is overrun with Bald Eagles. I had no idea they were so common here, but it adds a majestic touch to just about everything. These are two different pairs. The top pair was checking out some Canada Geese, and the bottom pair were loitering on an Osprey nesting platform. Note the camera mounted on the right side.



I saw a few, no pictures though, so you get the sign instead. Delmarva Fox Squirrels. Pretty sick.

These Arms Did Swim Until The Lungs Pulled In

Hi nerds. What did you do today? Spend too much time on facebook? Ponder why your favorite football team got destroyed yesterday? Suffocate your soul behind a desk? Deviously plan doing something passive-aggressive to your supervisor?

Today was my last day of work as a Bat Conservation International employee, and it was pretty mellow, as has been the last couple days. I even got to get some low-intensity birding in yesterday afternoon, the highlight of which was hanging out with some Pectoral Sandpipers. Yeah, you know me, always flexing my pecs. Right.

So to be honest, it's really strange to know that I don't have to stare at the ground to look for dead things anymore. The end of the season really crept up on me. But I am stoked to be free once again, and I need to plan the first part of my road trip, down to Maryland and Virginia. I also need to figure out how to make potato salad, which I've never done before. Which is neither here nor there.

I know what you're thinking. "Steve, what do you think about wind power?" And by that, you mean "Steve, what should I think about wind power?". Which is a heavy question, to be sure. I'll have to brew and stew for a bit, and then I'll get back to you. It's not an easy conclusion to come to. I'll have to confer with Felonious Jive, the great ornithologist.

Fall color is in full effect now, and the forests are beautiful!!! The weather is awful, but the view anywhere I look makes up for it. I'll be sad to leave it behind, but at least I can follow it down the east coast. And once I'm mired in the swamps of Florida, I don't think I will mind.

Yours Truly,

Seagull Steve