We'll Never Be Safe Again

"I'm rehabilitation? I'm Jungian sessions? No! I'm Red-tailed Hawks...I wanna free fall from it all with my talons locked." - from Dead To Me's "Fell Right In"

Hello bastards.  Right.  I don't know if you know it, but birds are in with the hipsters right now.  They're huge.  People are getting bird tattoos left and right and they are migrating into songs, art, and tee-shirt designs everywhere....and perhaps even into some young hearts and minds as well.  Some younger birders who are cognicent enough to A) know what a hipster is and B) actually know what said hipsters are into are pretty bitter about this, and I can't say I blame them.  But, seeing as I am generally labeled as filthy, messenger bag-wearing, Pabst-drinking, elitist hipster and I have a huge weakness for trashy hipster girls, I have to say that the bird trend doesnt bother me.  I mean why wouldnt you appreciate birds getting the audience they deserve?  I'm one of the relatively few people who are known to walk the birdwatcher-hipster line (how embarrassing), and it certainly doesnt bother me at all.....I don't know what to tell you.  Just get over it, because in a blink of an eye you will be left to enjoy our avian friends with nothing but nerds once more.

I'd like to thank San Francisco's own Dead To Me for making what may be the first mention of raptor talon-locking in the annals of punk rock.  Also, I like the fact that he is not one, but two Red-tailed Hawks.  So sick.  Ironically, dude who wrote this song goes by "Chicken".  Go figure.