Pic Of The Week: I Sleep One Brain Hemisphere At A Time

Hooded Meganser. I already look forward to joining the clusterfuck of bird photographers at Lloyd Lake this fall, when the small and confiding meganser flock of small and confiding mergansers (see what I did there?) returns for the cold months. Golden Gate Park, San Francisco, CA.

Bellowing Ducks

Have you ever looked down the throat of a living, breathing Greater Scaup? If you have, then you have seen Hell. Photographed at Lake Merritt, CA.

There is nothing worse in the bird world than having to withstand the horrible bellowing of waterfowl.  Their piercing and horrible cries are enough to bring anyone to their knees. Today BB&B will provide the service of showcasing various bellowing ducks, without forcing you to listen to their wretched, ungodly sounds. You can thank me now.

Here is the same scaup uttering its war cry yet again. This is it's classic combat pose; as you can see, its foot is poised for skull crushing.

Cinnamon Teal specialize in bellowing from shrubs, just above the water....where you would least expect them. Photographed at Radio Road, Redwood Shores, CA.

The thick tongue of the Canvasback assists it in uttering bass-filled, guttaral tones that can liquify the skeletons of its prey. Lake Merritt, CA.

You too may someday meet your destiny between the dark, betoothed mandibles of a Hooded Merganser. Pray that its terrible shrieks end your life first. Golden Gate Park, San Francisco, CA.

Everyone knows that being bellowed at by females is far more unpleasant than getting an earful by males. This Redhead was at Lake Merritt, Oakland, CA.

That's right...dual bellowing. The blood and feathers will fly. I wish I had photographed these birds on some remote river in Central America, but these birds live in Golden Gate Park. They usually sleep right next to each other and don't do anything else, but any relationship can get strained...

This Northern Pintail hen has contorted herself into Ultimate Bellowing Position. Be very afraid. Radio Road, CA.

The cry of the Ring-necked Duck will bring the death rattle to your bones in a matter of seconds. Golden Gate Park, CA.

This Common Goldeneye has assumed the position of Alpha Bellow. If you ever see a goldeneye do this, not only will you suffer a terrible, unspeakable fate, but so will your first-born child. Just avoid looking at medium and large bodies of water for the rest of your life and you will be fine. Lake Merritt, CA.

Secret Hooded Merganser Courtship Grounds

Recently, I had the honor of witnessing the action on the Secret Hooded Merganser Courtship Grounds at San Francisco's Golden Gate Park. I swear you could cut the duck pheromones in the air with a knife.

A drake gets ready to look really, really awesome.

The female sexpot awaits her courtship.

It begins. So sexy.

Impressive. Frog-throated merganser.

What a hunk.

So fit. This merganser man could make some beautiful ducklings.

"Why don't you come at me bro?"

The winner, with new girlfriend. Hoods down.

San Francisco's Golden Gate Park

Hooded Merganser. A legitimate duck.

Wow. I am tired. I'm not sure if this Two Buck Chuck is helping or hurting...it's only the first glass. I got in some solid birding today, complete with two year birds (Lucy's Warbler and Tundra Swan), as well as Yellow-throated, Palm and Black-throated Gray Warblers. How often do you see Lucy's and Yellow-throated in the same flock? So sick.

Right. Due to fatigue, this will be kept short. All of the pictures here today were taken in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park over the last couple weeks. It is probably San Francisco's only birding spots that is A) Large, B) Not Hideous, and C) Gets Rare Birds. It is over 3 miles long, over 1,000 acres in size, and is 20% larger than New York's Central Park. Aside from various museums and a small herd of Buffalo to keep the crust punks/hippies at bay, the park hosts a variety of bizarre habitats and has had its share of good birds over the years....almost all of which I have not seen.

But that is not the point. Remember that fall migration is still on, and you must keep your eyes Open. A dreary and birdless fate awaits those who do not.

Palm Warbler. Rare, but just barely. Always nice though.

Wood Duck. One of the birds that the average human imagination could never come up with.

Glaucous-winged Gull. Maybe this is one of the birds I saw murdering Crested Auklets in Alaska last year.

Greater White-fronted Goose vanity shot.

Raccoon. Hey buddy.

Summer Tanager. On the San Francisco rarity scale, I would give it a 3/5.

Pied-billed Grebe. Possibly on drugs.

Green wing of a Green-winged Teal.

Thayer's Gull. Sorry for the blown out picture...I will have to go back to get better ones.