From Anous to Thalasseus: Tern Heroes

Brown Noddy is a truly slick looking bird, with shades of gray, brown and black all somehow seamlessly melting into one another.  I'm told they can be pretty aggressive around nests but in my experience with them you just walk up to them and they let you stare at them super hard. Photographed at Midway Atoll.

I have a plan...a plan to see a certain species of tern.  A species I haven't seen before.  I'm not going to try for another couple of months, but I'm really looking forward to it.  I don't get lifer terns very often (the last couple were Bridled in 2013, Aleutian in 2010) so I'm getting pretty worked up about it. Terns are a big deal.  They are aesthetically pleasing, highly migratory, prone to vagrancy, and often offer a worthy ID challenge.  Many species are stunning, even while still comfortably constrained by The Economy of Style.  In anticipation and celebration of this event, I'm going to post a suite of other terns that have improved my life in myriad ways.

My experiences with Black Noddy, on the other hand, have not been similar.  They look at you from trees and don't want to be near you.  Although I saw many, many Black Noddies while out at Midway, this was the one and only really approachable individual I found...which I am grateful for, because it chose the perfect perch and perfect background. Note the longer, more slender bill in comparison to Brown Noddy.

Sooty Terns sure do get around...around the world, that is.  It's one of two tern species I've seen on the east coast, west coast, and Hawaiian Islands (Least Tern being the other).  This bird was (still is?) part of the colony on Eastern Island at Midway Atoll.

Ahhh, my last life tern, and what a sweet lifer it was.  Before seeing them I was always confounded about how these could be told from Grey-backed Terns (which do have some range overlap in the South Pacific), but I can see a difference now. This Bridled Tern was photographed off Cape Hatteras, North Carolina.

Grey-backed Terns are sweet birds...they sometimes nest in the same places as Sooty Terns, but are always less abundant and less annoying (Sooty colonies are loud and intense).  I've always considered them the luxury car of terns, although I don't know why and that probably doesn't make sense to anyone else.  Note the finer bill and paler back than the Bridled Tern above; Grey-backed also has less black in the primaries when seen from below. Photographed at Midway Atoll.

Least Terns and I go way back...they are one of the handful of birds that I remember well from those dark ages of before I was a birder.  I worked with these birds a lot in San Diego a couple years ago, unfortunately all of their breeding colonies fared horribly and it was kind of depressing (colonies up and down California failed that year).  Photographed in Escondido, CA.

As far as photography goes, shooting feeding terns never gets old.  Here is a Forster's Tern, mid-plunge. Photographed at the Tijuana River Estuary, CA.

Though shackled with a...common...yet horrible name, Common Tern is always a bird we enjoy seeing in California.  Rarely common, we most often find them during fall migration at the Salton Sea, coastal wetlands and well offshore, in the realm of Arctic Terns.  You would not expect to find a bird from the Canadian prairie far out at sea, but luckily birds have a habit of defying birder expectations.  Photographed at Ormond Beach, CA.

Arctic Terns are tantalizing.  Unless you are lucky enough to bird where they breed, they always seem so...ephemeral.  Uncommon off California during fall, they are never really dependable on pelagic trips, and sightings are usually brief and of poor to mediocre quality. I want to see more. Photographed off Bodega Bay, CA.

I first met Sandwich Tern at Bolsa Chica Ecological Reserve (in Orange County, CA) back in the mid 90's when one had teamed up with an Elegant Tern to make hybrids.  It would be over 10 years before I saw another, but now we make sure to eyeball each other with more regularity. Photographed at the Dry Tortugas, FL.

Elegant Terns are a common sight up and down California in summer and fall.  As breeders, they have increased in the state over the years, forming colonies in San Diego, Orange and most recently Los Angeles Counties...no minor achievement, considering how few breeding colonies there are in the world.  Photographed at Half Moon Bay, CA.

Unlike on the Atlantic coast, Royal Terns do not venture very far northward; they are a rare bird away from southern California.  Despite frequently associating with Elegant Terns (which provide great comparisons), they are often misidentified...but such is the fate of many terns South Padre Island, TX.

For the world's biggest tern, you would think Caspian Terns would have some different behaviors from the rest of the family...but aside from monstrous vocalizations, they are pretty similar.  Fortunately, those horrible calls are quite charming.  Photographed at South Padre Island, TX.

Gull-billed Terns, on the other hand, know how to stand apart.  Gull-billed Terns are just as content foraging for horned lizards in the sand dunes as they are fish in the surf line.  They hunt bird eggs and chicks, and will get mobbed by other tern species.  They are everything Caspian Terns wish they could be, all while carrying themselves with a certain grace and elegance. Photographed at the Tijuana River Estuary.

Black Terns have always been there for me.  Back when I started birding, a Black Tern was one of the first Vague Runts I ever saw (at the Ventura Water Treatment Plant, if you must know). They are always there for me at the Salton Sea in the summer.  When I needed them most (for lack of humanity to spend time with), they were there in the greatest of numbers in North Dakota.  I would be lying if I said I wasn't dying to see their Vague Runt brethren, White-winged Tern, but until I do Black Terns will continue to validate my existence.  Photographed at Lostwood NWR, North Dakota.

White Tern is a singular bird...there's nothing quite like them. They nest pretty much anywhere that isn't the ground, just plop out an egg where hopefully the chick won't be too exposed to the weather. They are tame. They come hover next to your head as you walk by their perch. If you haven't seen one, they are your favorite bird waiting to happen. Photographed at Midway Atoll.

Last but not Least Tern, I finally give you a stupid tern pun and offer you an honorary tern, a Black Skimmer. Skimmers look great on the wing, but they always look so grumpy at rest. Maybe if no one could tell that I had eyeballs, I would seem grumpy too.  Photographed at South Padre Island, TX.

The Human Birdwatcher Project Presents: A Major Leak From the Global Birder Ranking System (Rise and Measure the Temple of the Five)

What does Final Five material know about Swainson's Thrush? Everything. Dry Tortugas National Park, FL.

BREAKING NEWS. Being the Number 7 birder in the United States, I am constantly besieged with questions about the Global Birder Ranking System (GBRS) that assigned me this lofty position in the first place. As I have mentioned before, GBRS is very secretive, and those of us considered to be Birding Giants are typically under various gag orders...we are able to acknowledge the existence of GBRS, but giving out details is not something we are typically free to do.

Until now. I recently received this memo (something I am normally not privy to) from an Anonymous Source about the current guidelines of potential inclusion into the vaunted Final Five; the top 5 birders in the country. Although I put my ranking and reputation at great risk by releasing this information to you all, hopefully it will put an end to the one of the questions I get the most...how do you get into the highest circle of the greatest birders in the United States?

Below is the complete memo, almost entirely intact, brought to you by none other than The Human Birdwatcher Project ("Birders are people too!"). Please do not ask me to explain the quote at the bottom...certain things are better left unsaid.

Subject: Memo: Standards and Practices for the Recertification and Inclusion of New Members of the Final Five
From: The Global Birder Ranking System (High Cabal)
To: The Global Birder Ranking System ( Class Bravo Birderer Technicians)

Hello GBRS staff, we hope this memo finds you well. With the discovery of mega-crippler Rufous-necked Wood-Rail (which earned Mr. Daw an outstanding 84 points!), many of you newer staff have been wondering how discoveries like this (or lack thereof) can affect the standings of The Final Five. The Final Five, of course, have all been there for several years now, with 4th and 5th place birders switching places several times as a result of certain eyebrow-raising gull misidentifications and a brief but bizarre public meltdown of Number 4 while chasing a Pink-footed Goose last winter. This outburst has since been attributed by the GBRS Ranking Audits Division (GBRS-RAD) to the observer's marathon of whisky consumption, brought on by a particularly nasty dip from the day before. GBRS-RAD recently determined this was an act of desperation, rather than deeply-ingrained personality flaws manifesting themselves (see March 2012 memo "Recurring Traits Found in GBRS Low-Ranked American Birders"). 

The GBRS High Cabal wants to reassure you junior staff that the regulations for eligibility of The Final Five have remained much as they have been since the January 2011 memo. As a refresher, here are the current requirements for inclusion in the Final Five.

Most birders could not tell you how to identify an immature Great Frigatebird, which is showing off its characteristic ruddy head and pink feet. The Final Five would know this bird instantly, with no need for field guides. Photographed at Midway Atoll.

1. Identification Skills. It goes without saying that the most important factor in ranking of the Final Five are a birder's identification skills. The Final Five must be leaders in the most challenging aspects of North American bird identification, particularly groups such as gulls, tubenoses, female hummingbirds, flycatchers, etc. Intimate knowledge of Mexican, Central American, Siberian, Caribbean and European species that have or could occur in the United States is expected as well.

The Final Five are constantly on the lookout for unexpected birds, no matter the chances against them. Gray-backed Tern (this one from Midway Atoll) may someday reward southern Californian birders who put in time sorting through summer tern flocks.

2. Birds Found. The quickest way a birder can increase their standing in GBRS is not to chase rare birds, but to find them. For example, points earned for documenting a Ross's Gull can (at least temporarily) completely offset a birder's consistent inability to differentiate Red-necked and Little Stint at 500 yards. Of course finding a national mega carries the most weight, but everything from state records to documenting localized breeding for the first time can cumulatively bear heavily on a Final Five contender's GBRS score.

A birder could have Grasshopper Sparrow for every county in their state, and that would not propel them into the Final Five. Medicine Lake National Wildlife Refuge, MT.

3. Lists. The classified formula of calculating a birder's lists and integrating them into their GBRS score remains the same. It is important to stress the fact that impressive list totals often are not found in conjunction with the other attributes listed in this document.

Anyone in the Final Five knows that despite it being an exotic waterfowl species, there has been no suspected case of escapee Tufted Ducks in California for years. Lake Merritt, Oakland, CA.

4. Vagrants and Escapees. The Final Five must have a firm grip on knowing the provenance of birds whose origins are questionable. Neither cage bird conspiracy theorists nor blatantly biased stringers will be eligible for upgrading to The Final Five. Those who have been on the right side of history in cases like this (which may or may not be in accordance to various state committee decisions) will be rewarded appropriately.

In terms of molt and plumage, the appearance of this Mississippi Kite would be challenging to describe for many birders. Not so, for the Final Five. Dairy Mart Ponds, Tijuana River Valley, CA.

5. Molt. Simply, complete memorization of the contents of the Pyle books is expected; additional knowledge and insight is preferred. It should go without saying that bird topography must be known like the back of one's hand. The benefits of molt mastery are many and need not be explained here.

Top-ranked birders have been gossiping about the potential split between Western and Eastern Willets for years. A thorough, respectable genetic study would probably seal the deal; Final Five candidates would know what types of studies would be acceptable in this particular case. "Western" Willet, Marina Park, Ventura, CA.

6. Genetics. The field of genetic studies of birds resulting in splitting and lumping species is fluid and constantly undergoing change. It is paramount that the Final Five know both the current and obsolete methods used in avian genetic studies, the history of these tools, and splits and lumps that may occur going forward.

All current Final Five birders are intimately familiar with the flight call of Blackburnian Warbler. Some inexperience with flight calls of rare and range-restricted species (i.e. Kirtland's Warbler, Colima Warbler) is acceptable for future Final Five candidates. Dry Tortugas National Park, FL.

7. Flight Calls. Vocalizations are a basic, crucial part of various identifications and need not be discussed here. However, flight calls of passerines are known to a small minority of birders and can provide conclusive identification of unseen flyover birds. Western birders in particular suffer from a lack of knowledge in this field, due to differences in species communities and the nature of migration in western states. Future nominees for the Final Five from western states are expected to overcome this regional handicap.

While the laybirder may suggest that the crest of Crested Auklet may simply be a function of breeding plumage, the Final Fiver will know that a study has shown that they serve an important function in feeling their way around the dimly-lit rock crevices where they nest. Buldir Island, AK.

8. Science. The Final Five need not hold degrees in a scientific field, although it is helpful. However, a solid understanding of science and it's framework of critical thinking is necessary. There is no room in The Final Five for theoretical ornithologists, who put forth theories on bird behavior, movements, appearance, and biology based on complete speculation and guesswork.

A member of the Final Five is expected to exude a wealth of knowledge pertaining to all North American birds. In a recent test by GBRS-RAD, GBRS birders ranked 1-5 all correctly answered that the set gillnet fishery for Kodiak Island, AK, had an estimated bycatch of 28 Red-faced Cormorants in 2002. Buldir Island, AK. 

9. Knowledge. Encyclopedic knowledge of birdlife is expected in The Final Five. This includes, but is not limited to, status and distribution of birds down to very fine temporal and spatial scales, repertoire of vocalizations, variations of specific plumages and morphology, behavior, conservation issues, and known connections to ecosystems. Knowledge is power, and one cannot become a power-birder without it.

This bucolic scene features birders displaying exemplary conduct. They demonstrate a youthful vigor, ostensible camaraderie, potential solidarity, a healthy interest in something other than birds, and excellent calves.

10. Conduct. A birder is a birder both in the field and after the binoculars come off.  The Final Five are expected to have social skills far and above those of the average birder, or to be explicitly clear, the social skills one would expect from the average nonbirder. Expected conduct does not compel the Final Five to be mild-mannered or inoffensive, but the following habits and traits are strongly desired: Not embarrassing themselves in online forums/Facebook groups/listservs; keeping an even temper; comprehension of basic social cues (i.e. the ability to detect and dispense sarcasm, making a joke that other people can understand, etc); lacking prejudices against large swaths of the population (i.e. men, women, Asians, beginning birders etc.); not pronouncing bird names in bizarre, completely unconventional ways; not being overly serious, petty, or passive-aggressive. A mild amount of awkwardness is acceptable for members of the Final Five, however the stifling awkwardness abundant in the birding community generally prevents birders from advancing beyond Birder #85 or so.

With the number of skilled but socially isolated, hermit-like birders in the United States whose conduct is poorly understood, GBRS is considering the creation of a supplemental list to track and rate hermit birders. A decision on the creation of this new ranking subset is expected in the coming months. 

Moving forward, we continue to cast a wary eye on the incursion of photographers into the birding community and the increasingly gray area between birders and photographers, which some worry may potentially complicate GBRS scoring. At this point in time we will stay the course and not score those who have not admitted to being a birder, in public or otherwise.

The annual GBRS 4th of July BBQ in Bridgeport, CA, was a great success! Congratulations to Birder #38, who won the chili cook-off.

The shorebirds are moving south friends, and as their numbers swell, so too will your GBRS score. Good birding everyone, and as always...

"Limiting diffusions to two dimensions increases the number of evolutionary jumps within the species. Rise and measure the Temple of the Five. Transformation is the goal. They will not harm their own."

Please destroy this document after reading. Thank you! - GBRS High Cabal

News From Midway

Sad news today...U.S. Fish and Wildlife biologist Pete Leary, who blogs from Midway Atoll, has reported the demise of the volunteer program due to budget cuts for the refuge. Not only does this mean that Midway will be far less accessible to anyone looking to do field work there, it means it will be considerably more difficult to get things done at all, from Laysan Duck suveys to albatross banding to pulling invasive weeds. The volunteers carry out the bulk of Fish and Wildlife's biological field work out there...at least Pete will now have a lot more time out of the office.

I found myself spending a good chunk of 2009, as a volunteer, way out there in the Pacific. To say it was an epic experience would be a profound understatement. The islands are filled with great birds, like the celebrity pair of Short-tailed Albatross that have fledged chicks the last two years on Eastern Island. Hopefully funding will be reinstated soon...or else it will be much more difficult to plot my prophecied return!

Sooty Terns swarm over Eastern Island in spring and summer.

A juvenile Great Frigatebird surveys its facemelting domain.

A Hawaiian Monk Seal and Brown Noddies.

White Tern chick in back of the "duck house".

Grey-backed Terns look immaculate.

Life is good with Red-tailed Tropicbirds overhead (and underfoot).

Good ol' Rusty Bucket.

A Black-footed  X Laysan Albatross hybrid tries unsucessfully to flirt with some Laysan Albatrosses, while a Laysan chicks looks on in it's Chewbaccaesque plumage.

The front of the "float" that a Safely Anonymous Person and myself made for the Songkran (Thai New Year) parade. It was an amazing float.

In Desolation

A Brown Booby does its best dinosaur impression.

Ah, Midway Atoll. Out of the many, many places I've been on birding trips and field jobs, this is one of the best. Between the birds, the scenery, the isolation, the history and last but not least, the people there, it is hard to beat. Of course, the soft serve machine is sweet too...anyways, two years after my visit now I still have tons of (hella) photos that I like that I haven't been able to throw up on BB&B...so in the spirit of sharing, here you go!

Grey-backed Terns don't get much attention compared to Midways other seabirds, but they're one of my favorites. Classiest birds of the central Pacific!

This Laysan Albatross loved the rain. It looks like it's about to burst into tears...ALBATEARS.

White Terns ponder Liz, and vice versa.

Red-footed Booby. Look at it. LOOK AT IT. 

Rusty Bucket. One of the most scenic places to get Tetanus that I can think of...

Going to Midway is a fantastic, unique experience, particularly if you've never been to any of the Northwestern Hawaiian Islands before (which is almost all of you). My first few hours there I can remember vividly as one of the most surreal times of my life (WHAT A NERD). The sheer numbers and cacophony of the Laysan Albatross and Bulwer's Petrels at night is unlike anything I've experienced before or since...just thinking about it brings Albatears of joy to my eyes. ALBATEARS OF JOY. On top of that, I went to a bar in the middle of all this, which is simply ridiculous. Anyways...if you ever have the opportunity to get out there as a volunteer, with a tour, for work or some other capacity, you owe it to yourself to do so. 

Pete Leary, Midway's current biologist with the infamous dry sense of humor, has a great blog that you can see here. Check in to see how things are going with the Short-tailed Albatross chick and other seabirds that survived the tsunami from earlier this winter.

Despite their ruthless reputations, frigatebirds are doting and diligent when it comes to the domestic life. Males spend a lot of time on the nest and can often be seen fussing with various twigs...one has to look good for the neighbors, I guess.

Time To Kill, Feelings To Feel

A Sooty Tern announces its plans for landing to its flockmates. All photos today are from Midway Atoll.

Three weeks left back in the states before I go down to Mexico again (which now sounds more like masochism and less like a vacation), so I better get deep back into blogging. Get all the nerdiness out of my system for a couple months, you know what I'm saying...but who am I kidding? I've got far too much geek in me to do that. Who will want to trade obscure and embarrassing Star Wars quotes if no one speaks English? Who will care that Choking Victim, Leftover Crack and Star Fucking Hipsters all share some of the same members? Who will be able to sing the newly-classic (thanks to Youtube and Schmoyoho) "Double Rainbow" song with me? Who will endure my revolting and heretical "what-would-you-rathers"? I don't know what I will do with myself.

Grey-backed Terns are the less numerous and more pleasant relatives of Sooty Terns.

For some reason I think this picture is really funny. White Tern.

Well, as promised, I'm going back to the bank for some photos for ya'll. I really, really wish that wasn't the case....but it is what it is. What have you guys been up to? I mean, what do you people do when not absorbing wisdom from BB&B? Do I even want to know? Since these are not questions I can readily answer, I will dispense some advice based on stories and experiences from our roadtrip.

1) If you have something on your finger that looks like "weird mud", do not smell it or wipe it on your pants.

2) If you think the world is about to end, you should probably do some weird stuff before its too late.

3) If someone breaks up with you, its not worth killing yourself over.

4) It someone asks you about a threesome in another language, do not agree to it unless you really want to.

5) If you walk off by yourself and see a flock of Azure-hooded Jays and a Chestnut-sided Shrike-Vireo, your friends will all see Strong-billed and Spotted Woodcreepers. No one will be able to find the other people's birds again. You'll just have to live with it.

6) Corn Crakes and Northern Jacanas are not similar.

7) Dogs and guans are not similar.

8) Unicolored Jays are the best birds in the world.

9) Canavet's Emeralds are best viewed hawking insects off your nose.

10) Don't ever assume a towering, unforgiving tope (speed bump) won't pointlessly be around the next corner.

Right. That's it for now I reckon. Have a raging weekend!

A more typical view of a White Tern.

You're Wanted In Surgery

The monumental Gray-backed Tern, on it's way to do something outstanding.

I'm looking out the window at a Laysan Duck with a bunch of brand new ducklings. Hold on. Sweet. Heart attack sweet. Diabetes sweet. 8 little ducklings! Probably only a couple days old. Adorable. I don't know what they're doing in "town", but I wish them the best of luck. Last I saw of them it looked like they were heading off to Smash Imperialism....an unlikely feat but a good way to go, in the scheme of things. Maybe they were protesting the poor, poor, poor Supreme Court decision that was just handed down in California....they seemed a bit rambunctious.



Behind of the house, the third and final White Tern chick has hatched. She shall hereafter be known as "Betty", completing my personal bartender hall of fame..........manifested by tern chicks. As you all (should) know, Betty was a refugee of Toby and Jack's in Arcata, and ended up next door at Everett's, where you can still find her today. Halsey is a big girl now, in the awkward teenager phase. Lourdes is holding it down in the shed, and Betty still has her egg tooth and may have just hatched this morning. Of course I have no way to prove the sex of any of them, but if that's the case I can feminize all of them and no one can prove me otherwise.

As of today I've only got a week left. Time to maximize "Fun Time" and soak in The Atoll Of Youth, you know what I'm sayin? Enhance the tan. Drink the whiskey. Have vision-quests in the sauna. Find that vagrant. Word.

Oh yeah the above picture documents the first and last time an Against Me! song was and ever will be played on Midway, hehe.



Wedge-tailed Shearwaters are attentive and affectionate lovers, unlike most people I know.